On the Photographic Art: Jennifer Connelly

If there is one thing we love here at the Frog Blog, it is the astoundingly beautiful, amazingly intelligent, incredibly talented Jennifer Connelly. Yet there are some out there that just are not as aware as they should be of her glory. As a tribute to this Earth-bound goddess, I have decided to take a brief break from my ignorant reviews to post a few ignorant pictures. Yet too many websites out there on the Internets exist for no reason other than to exploit the radiance of Ms. Connelly with grainy video captures of her naked, or they steal publicity photos and distribute them, at least until the paparazzi threatens suit. Here at the Frog Blog, while we encourage perverts to lurk our hallowed virtual halls, we do not want this lurking at the expense of the dignity of Ms. Connelly. In other words, if you want Jenny sitting nude on the beach in "The Hot Spot", go on and Google it now. You ain't gonna find it here, you bunch of sickos. In addition, we will never steal a picture from another site and post it on the Frog Blog. We may steal a picture from another site, crudely photoshop it, and THEN post it on the Frog Blog. But we will at least never admit from where we stole it. We have our standards here.

That said, I still wanted to post a stunning photography piece true to the spirit and inspiration that is Jennifer Connelly. If I wasn't going to steal nude pix from some other website, what else can I do? I mean, this is the Internets, home of stolen nude pix. But this blog is classy with a capital 'K', so we've put together a little thing we hope you enjoy (and enjoy with your hands out of your pants) called:

Jennifer Connelly: A Photographic Salute

First up this evening in our photographic tribute to Jennifer Connelly, I submit the following:

This, of course, is a white tank-top, much like the one worn by the heart-stoppingly beautiful Jennifer Connelly in the classic "Career Opportunities". Furthermore, this tank top can be purchased at Target, which is the same store that Jennifer Connelly and some dude were locked in all night in the film. So if you buy this tank top from Target, it may (and I put 'may' in italics because it really means 'may not') be the very same one worn by Ms. Connelly, and possibly left in the Target after filming. Or it may have been returned after being worn by some 300 pound creature with fungus growing on its back during the hottest 4th of July on record. Sniff it and you decide. If you dare...

Next up on our tour, I wanted to present a stunning picture of Jennifer Connelly. However, in following the two rules I just invented (1. No naked pictures of Jennifer Connelly. Anyone else is game, but not Jennifer Connelly. 2. No stolen pictures from other websites, unless they are photoshopped beyond recognition), it makes it difficult to post anything. But, taking a page from Court TV, I now present this image. Warning: You may wish to shield your eyes if you are easily excited or your penis could possibly explode:

Now as hard as it may be to believe, but the above is an incredibly photo-realistic artist rendering, but NOT a true photograph of Jennifer Connelly. If you wish to print this breath-taking image off and hide it in the bottom of your sock drawer, you may. Just be sure and send me a few dollars to cover the costs of its creation, ok?

Finally, I am going to turn the Frog Blog in the political direction, particularly to the right, with a brief suggestion: President Bush is currently so low in the polls that someone may have just stepped on his face. I propose that, if President Bush were to get a make-over so that he had a greater resemblance to the achingly attractive Ms. Connelly, suddenly, the world would fall to his feet. He can pardon anyone he wants. He can send Americans to die and no one will question him. He can abuse the executive office and the people of this country will stop to say, "Thank you!" Just a quick make-over to bear a greater resemblance to Jennifer Connelly, and I bet you that George Bush would be re-elected again, especially if the Supreme Court had their say. What exactly am I proposing? Funny you ask, even if you didn't, because I'm going to show you now. Take a look at this and see if you just don't feel all funny and conflicted inside:

I think we, the people, just found our next President of the United States of America. And she/he is HOT! Suddenly, four more years of Bush doesn't seem so bad, now, does it? Inauguration in a white tank top, anyone?

There you go, folks, our first photo tribute to Jennifer Connelly. Expect anywhere from twenty-six to seven million more, depending on my time. I hope this doesn't crash Blogspot when it's inundated with hits. In the meantime, I think I'll leave you with these pictures while I Google-search naked Jennifer Connelly on the beach in "The Hot Spot". Wait, I mean research the Declaration of Independence. Yeah. The naked one. Yeah, baby!