Friday, October 15, 2010

Things I Do Instead of Writing the Songs that Make the Whole World Sing

  • I Burn the Toast that Makes the Smoke Alarm Go Off
  • I Eat the Burritos that Make my Whole Family Cringe
  • I Take the Nap that Makes My Head Feel All Fuzzy
  • I Post the Posts to Facebook that Make Most People Sorry They Friended Me
  • I Pay the Bills Late that Makes A Finance Charge Show Up on My Account Next Month
  • I Watch the TV and that Prevents Me From Doing Much of Anything Else
  • I Underinflate the Air Pressure in My Tires that Makes the Gas Mileage Go Down, and then, Because I Can't Find the Stupid Tire Pressure Gauge, I Overinflate the Air Pressure in My Tires That Makes the Vehicle Difficult to Control In High Speed Situations
  • I Write the Grocery Lists that I Routinely Forget and Leave on the Counter When I Go to the Store Which Makes Me More Susceptible to Impulse Buys
  • I Do the Laundry Without Sorting By Colors Which Makes My Underwear Pink
  • I Eat the Cookies that Were Made For the Kid's Lunches
  • I Write the Blog Posts that Make People In Greece Regret that They Searched For "Where Are Naked Pictures of Jennifer Connelly", At Least for the 1.6 Seconds They Are On This Blog Page

Fruits That Are More Musical Than Beans

  • Banana
  • Raspberry
  • Kumquat
  • Clementine
  • Kiwi
  • Huckleberry
  • Gooseberry
  • Tangerine
  • Acai
  • Rock Melon
  • Pomegranate
  • Lychee
  • Ziziphus mauritiana
  • Raisin
  • Pineapple
  • Every other real fruit, including oranges, because beans are freakin' legumes, seed pods, and I don't even consider them fruits