Wednesday, December 9, 2009

LOLKomodo Dragonz Will Prevent Suicide or At Least Make You Temporarily Forget How Meaningless and Insignificant Human Existance Really Is!

So, the economy's in the crapper, no one outside of the government has a job (as evidenced by the number of blogs on the Internets), our houses are worth about a can of tuna and two snack-size Snickers bars, Tiger Woods is probably cheating on his wife as I type this, they are making a third "Transformers" movie, there is still no peace in the Middle East, a white death-filled storm has cryogenically preserved the Midwest and East Coast, we are surely only weeks away from a zombie apocalypse, and our children may have to suffer with only one Xbox 360 this year instead of having one for the living room and one for the bedroom, just to allow us to have a small Christmas goose this year (God Bless Us, Every One). What is there to make us happy? What can urge us onward and upward and keep us going when the going gets dark and the tough get their groove on? Where can a person find something inspirational yet "Safe For Work" lurking around the Internets these days? Who can be our knight in green, scaly armour?

Why, it's LOLKomodo Dragonz to the rescue!

Yes, just looking at the hope and optimism in that image makes me burst with joy*. It just screams that, if LOLKomodo Dragonz can do it, so can I! Thank you, LOLKomodo Dragonz! You're our only hope! (And please remember: the above image is available for licensing to use at corporate retreats, motivational seminars, AA meetings, prison and mental hospital common rooms, church basements, fast food drive-thru windows where the "customer per hour" count is not high enough, retail stockrooms, teacher's lounges, charter schools, pediatrician's offices, military recruitment centers, computer screen-savers and anywhere else that depression, despair, and pitch black wishes for quick and painless death are the norm. Simply contact me to arrange transfer of the significantly large and up-front fee.)
Now, as that famous philosopher Robin Williams once said, "Carpe Dicem!", or "Cut The Fish!"
*and, of course, by "burst with joy", I mean "become very wealthy from royalty and product sales and win the love of the beautiful and talented Jennifer Connelly".


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Anonymous said...

Интересно написано....но многое остается непонятнымb